Facts About Brian Fellow
- Brian Fellow was once bit by a snapping turtle. Ever since then, he seems to have an irrational fear of any kind of turtle.
- Brian Fellow was once attacked by a pigeon.
- Brian Fellow has a friend named Jessie, who fixes cars.
- Brian Fellow has a friend named Angel, who likes to name birds.
- Brian Fellow has a strange fear and hatred of goats.
- Brian Fellow has a clean mouth. There is no talk of the birds and the bees on his show, except when there are birds or bees, and sometimes, not even then.
- Brian Fellow has an Uncle Kool-Aid who often wears a big belt buckle.
- Brian Fellow does not like porcupines.
- Brian Fellow has a brother named Ryan Fellow.
Brian Fellow's remarks on animals
- On a boa constrictor: "That's one big worm!" or "Does the snake still work for the Devil?"
- On a Sphynx (cat): "What'd you do to that cat? He bald-headed!"
- On a tarantula: "That's one fuzzy bug! ...If I had a bug like that, I'd make a coat out of him!"
- On a parrot after the bird mimics his catch phrase "I'm Brian Fellow": "That bird is a liar!"
- On a bat: "I understand bats live in caves", to which the trainer acknowledges yes, "Does he know where Osama bin Laden is?"
- On a pig: "Why does that pig hate Jewish people?" (a reference to kashrut, a Jewish diet that forbids consumption of pork)
- On a Miniature horse: "That's the biggest dog I've ever seen!"
- On a goat: "I didn't like that goat, he had devil eyes!"
- On a turtle: "If that turtle bites me, I'm gonna kill it!"
- On a rabbit: "That rabbit just winked at me!"
- On a porcupine: "That rat needs a hair cut" and "All I'm saying is he needs a haircut. Looking all homeless and stuff."
- On a donkey: "Our next guest has big ears too because he likes to carry coffee beans and rocks. Please welcome a donkey."
- On a cow: "That cow has a big head. I bet he's all stuck up 'cuz of that big head."
1 comment:
It's impossible for me to read that without moving my head like him and using his accent.
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