50 Fun Things To Do At Walmart

Krissie forwarded me this back in the day...

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially down narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come Robin--to the Bat cave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: Marco Polo.

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

44. Re-alphabetize the CD's in Electronics.

45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO, NO! It's those voices again!"

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

Grocery Shrink Ray

The Consumerist: Grocery Shrink Ray reports on the companies who decrease the size of their product but charge the same price.

Bank error in your favor, collect $200

My recent credit card statement has a credit from Amazon.com for $42.96. The strange thing is I haven't bought anything from Amazon since January. Fraudulent credit card credits? Mastercard told me to contact Amazon but they would investigate the matter.* Amazon was thoroughly confused as well. I was on hold for more than 20 minutes before they discovered that I had been overcharged for my purchase in January. They sent me an email but when I saw the title of the email referring to a purchase, I figured it was junk mail.





* The lady was very confused why I'd report an unknown credit to my account. As much as I enjoy an undeserved credit to my account, I don't want that amount charged to my account if an error was found.

Bargain

I bought a champagne coloured cotton sun dress for $8.22. I thought it was going to be $10.70 (on clearance) but it had been reduced further. Now I need a cardigan for it.

Care Bear Countdown, 4, 3, 2, 1

I bought Care Bear jammies yesterday.

Birthday Fun

I had a pretty good birthday celebration yesterday. Apparently there is some other secret plan for this week so this weekend I wanted to just take it easy to celebrate.
A small group of friends and I went for manicures and pedicures, a late lunch, shopping, then for cheesecake. It was a pretty good day.
This is the dress I bought yesterday:

I wore it to church today. I was a little paranoid it looks like a night gown but nobody else thought so.

Dollar Store Bargains

My school is by the best dollar store EVER! Honestly everything is a dollar or less. For school I bought for less than $22.

• 7 measuring tapes


• 2 boxes of tissues


• 5 bags of marbles


• 4 stackable storage boxes


• 2 rolls or masking tape

Bargin.

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grrr

I went to the allergist today. He told me I need to start allergy shots again. Right now I have these drops that I take but they seem to be rather ineffective.

After my appointment I did a little shopping. I bought a bamboo cutting board, marble mortar and pestle, a pizza cutter and ice cream scoop. My other ice cream scoop bit the dust on Sunday. I can't wait to use my mortar and pestle; I've always wanted one.

My newest amusement is Pseudodictionary.com.

Congratulations to my sister on finishing the first chapter of her thesis.

I was so sick last night. I started to feel queasy two days ago. I thought I was feeling better yesterday until after I got home from tutoring. Last night I was running a fever. I felt cold but to touch my skin it felt like it was on fire. I slept with two comforters on my bed last night and wore fleece pjs. I'm trying to take it easy with the eating today.

I got a call from a good friend. She is going to be in the city for the day. I'm going to tag along while she shops.

Sleepy Saturday

They are showing the repeat of World Cup Championship on CBC. Boring! I hate repeated sporting events. Bring on the NHL season! Those players and owners need to get over themselves and get back to work.

In other news, I took my dad dress clothes shopping this afternoon. I convinced him that pleated pants flatter no one. I even convinced him to buy a pair of olive brown pants and a striped shirt. That's pretty wild and crazy for my dad. I love shopping for men's clothes.