Ever wanted to be annoying to anybody? Here's how.

Last night I came across a "How to" wiki site. Curious what the site had to offer, I came across these gems in the Language Nuances category. This is some of the more confusing and ridiculous advice -- I wish I was making these up.

How to Be Annoying to People Who Use Expressions

Whenever somebody uses an expression or exaggeration, challenge it by being literal. Example: If somebody says: "Think outside the box," you should say: "What box?" or "How big is the box? Because if everybody thought inside it, it would have to be pretty big." or "What is it that is inside this 'box' that is so important for people to think about?" or something of that nature.

How to Think of Quick Witted Comebacks

One tactic to use is to mutter "[insult]saywhat" really quickly, and they will say, "What?"
Do not, under any circumstances, use childish insults such as "I know you are, but what am I". It does not work - at all.
Never ever, ever, ever say just "your mom" unless you are countering a mom insult with your own. And if they are actually using a mom insult, it probably isn't a serious situation.
'Leave me alone' does not work.

How to Be Cool

Being cool can be a challenge. A lot of people who aren't cool can slow your path to coolness down. So if something puts you in a bad mood, it's good to have reminders of your end goal of being awesomely cool. Also if your mood distracts you enough for you to forget your end goal reminders can help you stay positive.

How to Be Sarcastic

Example:
“You stole my homework to copy it!”
“No, I didn’t!”
“Hmmm...the dog must have eaten it, then!”