At my previous school, one of the teacher assistants JUST HAD to tell me her daughter's first impression of me. Her daughter pulled up to drop her off at the front when she saw me for the first time. She turns to her mom and says "Look how skinny she is, that's just disgusting." Umm, thanks for the story? The lady thought it was really funny.
I rarely get compliments on my physical appearance. I'm not saying I should but it would at least be a good counter-balance to garbage that comes out of people's mouthes abut my weight. Comments like "I hate how skinny you are" and "You're so skinny, it disgusts me". I've had other comments like "I must weigh 100 pounds" or "I'd break like a twig" or "Eat more, you need to fatten up." What do you think that does to a person's self-esteem? Those are the sort of things that absolutely ring in my ears. Sometimes I want to scream "I'm OK with the way I look, why can't you be OK with the way I look!"
I've even had people "joke" about me being anorexic. Like me having an eating disorder is the ONLY I could be thin. High metabolism, genetics, food allergies and eating relatively well have NOTHING to do with it. There was one friend that said something along those lines that was so hurtful that I walked away from him and never spoke to him again. Talking to people that way is just cool.
This past spring a girl friend was tell us how great it was that this guy was bashing skinny girls. First off, bashing someone else's appearance is not considered a compliment. Secondly, wouldn't anyone rather have a compliment than feeling better by making others feel worse?
When did it become socially acceptable to bash people for the way that they look? I once a friend told me that if she didn't know me she'd hate me because of the way that I look. That is a ballsy statement. My first reaction was wondering how she would feel if I said the same thing to her. I'd probably get slapped and deservingly so.
Lessons of the Day: Instead of tearing people down, try building them up.
Bonus Lesson: People will try to tear you down no matter how you look.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
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3 comments:
It's just jealousy. If someone's unhappy with their weight, it's easier to think there's something wrong with you for being skinny than to think they're something wrong with them. Why they gotta hate?
Huh. The thing I always remember about the way you look is how expressive and lovely your face is. I figure, anyone who comments on your body deserves anything from a cold look to never being spoken to again. Good on you.
Thanks.
No matter what anyone looks like, no one deserves to be put down. That was my point.
I've never viewed the comments as jealously. There is a huge social aspect to weight issues (whether it be overweight or underweight). People like other people who are similar to them. People want to be like so whether they realize it or not, do things to become like the people they spend time with. I'm not like them, I'm not trying to be like them. As I see it, they see me as not trying to have rapport with them.
That was a lot of rambling, I hope it made sense.
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