We are the (bridesmaids) stereotypes

The new movie poster for Bridesmaids makes me feel so clichéd.




Been there, done that


Photo taken July 16, 2005

What Rough Beast

I realize the poem is about post-war Europe but I think it is very applicable in a post-9/11 world:

The Second Coming
W.B Yeats

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in the sands of the desert.

A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Student Logic

Yesterday I had to deal with two students who handed in the exact same lab report. The department has a very clear policy on the matter which they are informed about during the first lab.

The first argument was "I didn't know I couldn't copy off of him".

The second argument was "I did all the work so I should get full marks".

The third argument was "We live together and copying saved me a lot of time".

The argument degraded to "C'mon, you should give us a break".

I'm not sure how anyone of those arguments is supposed to help them. They fully admitted what happen but tried to justify it.

Dear Adobe Acrobat Pro,

You didn't do a very good job recognizing text. Smarten up!



Love,
Jsnny

I might have forgiven Jerry O'Connell

As a teenager I had a huge crush on Jerry O'Connell. First he was on My SEcret Identity then later on Sliders. I swear, every time something important happened on TV on Sliders, his character was in the shower so he's have to come running out in a towel.

The first time Jerry O'Connell was on Conan, I was disappointed to discover that he was uninteresting and a bit of a moron. [My sister can verify as she remembers watching it too]. I think he might have redeemed himself after the Golden Globes:


I love photobombing! I also found this awesome one of Michael Douglas.

Didn't know the old man had it in him.

My favourite photobombing of all time belongs to my mom's dog Prince:

Dear Firefox,

Don't be stupid, Scrabble is obviously not done loading.



Love Janny

Sundays as a child

Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches always remind me of Sunday evenings as a child. After church Sunday dinner was always the big meal of the week so my family would always have something simple for supper.

Like many of you, I spend Sunday evenings as a child watching The Wonderful World of Disney. If you were to ask me what was the first thing that popped into my mind when thinking of Sundays as a child, I would think of watching Wayne and Shuster. I take for granted sometimes that many people don't understand political humour because I was exposed to it from a very young age. I still get this song stuck in my head sometimes:


Several years ago, I had the idea for a funk musical about the political history of Canada called Parliament. Get it? Parliament? No? Well, never mind then.

I couldn't find a video of just the outro:

You can't always get what you want

Several years ago, I took part in an Internet meme where you put "[your name] needs" into Google and post the results. I was so amused by the first results, I thought I'd try it again.


Janice needs to get her head out her arse!

Janice needs a kidney.

Janice needs numbers.

I think Janice needs to shut up!

Robert feels he knows exactly what Janice needs—a new piece of equipment.

Janice needs to work on her posture, wow.

Janice needs to grow up.

Janice needs to crawl in a hole and die.

While Christopher may keep pushing her away, Janice needs to let him know she cares about him.

Janice needs to be licked.

Janice needs Bricks in order to complete a Boosted General Store

Janice needs more substance though

My New Years Resolution

I'm not really one to make New Years resolutions. If there is something in your life you think you need to change, you should do it when it comes to mind instead of waiting.

My only New Years resolution is to find/make this t-shirt because it is so fitting:

My Year Through Tweets

Inspired by Bronwyn, I decided to reflect on my past year through my tweets. The ones I found most amusing were conversations between myself and Lyn (further proof that we are the fun ones).


Jan 10
@LynmaraH Did I ever tell you about the remake I read called "Big Guy, Little Women"? I swear it isn't porn.

Jan 18
Finding the temperature of a light bulb is less fun than it sounds.

Jan 19
I find myself doing more dancing to Duran Duran this evening than homework.

Jan 24
@LynmaraH I don't care if you think I'm awful as long as you bring me cupcakes.

Jan 26
Overheard at the university: "The absence of pants ruins 90% of presentations."

Jan 31
Started hiccuping uncontrollably ever since I left @Bronwyn_MayB and @LynmaraH. Coincidence? I think yes.

Feb 12
Christopher said the flowers in bloom makes him want to puke. Mary said that was an inappropriate response to flowers.

Feb 23
Forgot the delight of Sebastian Bach singing "Holla Back Girl" #gilmoregirls

Feb 23
Note to self: y and t are different letters no matter the circumstance.

Feb 25
I made a careless mistake but at least I'm still adorable.

March 9
@LynmaraH Bacon will only make you feel better. Trust me, I'm a scientist.

March 12
Dear CBC Radio movie reviewer, Playing an audio clip does not prove that the director should not have used a steady cam. Love Janny

March 19
Most unfortunate abbrev at a physics seminar: rotator ass'y ** Most unfortunate collaborator of a physics seminar: P Wang

March 21
I think my brain broke. At the very least I sprained it.

March 23
Science is hard and makes me sleepy.

March 29
If you "procrastinate effectively", you're not doing it right

March 30
Dear juicer infomercial, KFed's 1st baby mama is not an impressive celebrity endorsement. Pls don't judge me that I knew who she is. - Janny

April 20
@LynmaraH Nitrates are my favourite.

April 30
I wish there was a way to get all my errands done while in the pajamas, watching TV from home.

May 19
Dear Neck, Don't be a hater: I need you to hold up my head and look over to the side. Love, Janny

July 16
Day 4 of no anti-histamines: I'm ready to die dead

Aug 9
@Bronwyn_MayB No such thing as too much hype for pickles and cheese

Aug 26
Yikes! Burly man in short shorts.

Sept 1
Just saw two wiener dogs leaping through a field of tall grass. Adorable.

Sept 10
Haven't eaten lunch yet and outside smells like donuts. #ohcruelfate

Sept 17
I'm so tired I'm starting to forget which letters make which sounds.

Sept 30
The blond Linda Evangelista is really the Kenneth Parcell.

Oct 7
Now realizing that yoga pants in front of the bus station at 10PM was a bad idea.

Oct 20
Apparently my true life goal is to be diabetic by Halloween

Nov 17
I'm thankful when my headphones blocks out the crazy.

Dec 8
((°J°))

Upon Several Viewings of Burn Notice

Throughout the school year, I have very little time to watch TV. As I explained to my parents, "A DVR is an investment in my education." Now that I am on holidays and actually have time to watch TV, all I want to do is re-watch Burn Notice.
Watching the entire series within a matter of weeks, I started to notice inconsistencies with the sets:

• From the exterior shots, Madeline Westen's house is clearly a large two story house. At one point, Madeline considers selling the house and shows a real estate agent the entrance to the stairs to a the second floor. By the next season, the door to the second floor suddenly is a closet. Madeline Westin's house is now a kitchen, living room and back porch with only exterior doors. Where does she sleep? Where does she go to the bathroom? Could explain why house guests always stay in the garage.


• Michael Westen's loft apartment has no interior doors so I'd assume he also has no bathroom.


• Mr Pyne (Ray Wise) and Jean Pierre Duman (James Black) live in the same house

Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy with Will Ferrell & John C. Reilly

David Bowie (Will Ferrell) visits Bing Crosby (John C. Reilly) during the holidays to sing a duet of two Christmas classics, Peace on Earth & The Little Drummer Boy.

Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy with Will Ferrell & John C. Reilly from Will Ferrell

The original:

Bing Crosby & David Bowie - The Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth - watch more funny videos

Happy Birthday Maryanne!

My baby sister turns 30 today and that makes me feel OLD.

Awesome Transformation Scene

Awesome Transformation Scene - watch more funny videos

Waste of a good hair day

I've been a little beat up by life lately. Even though I was feeling sort of shaky on Wednesday I did go to school in the afternoon. On Thursday, I felt so good that not only was I at school all day but I even went bowling in the evening with some friends.* I woke up early Friday morning with the flu and I've been sick ever since. Even through all my vomiting yesterday, I had my only good hair day in weeks.




*It was 10 pin bowling. Since my right arm still hurt from the IV on Tuesday I was bowling with my left arm. Each game I steadily got better and for one game I bowled an 88. Since my previous best score bowling 10 pin was 23, I might have to start bowling with my left arm all the time. That game where I bowled 88, I happen to tie a male friend. It was quite embarrassing for him to get the same score as a girl who had been in the hospital two days before and was bowling with her non-dominant arm.

Then there was the time I spent the day in the ER

As I last blogged about how my eyes were itchy, red and sore last Monday. Later in the morning my condition deteriorated to the point where my face, hands and legs were swollen. When my tongue got tingly and numb that is when we headed to the ER. Please don't be confused as is the time I spent the morning in the ER, not the day. Since my breathing wasn't obstructed in anyway and my throat was fine the ER doctor told me to take anti-histamines and prescribed a histamine blocker (I'm not sure the difference between the two) then sent me on my way. I went and saw my allergist and it was suggested that I wash my eyes every couple hours to clean away whatever I am reacting to.

Throughout the week my condition improved. I woke up from a nap Friday afternoon and my eyes were puffy and red again. The situation grew worse each day. This morning I woke up around 4:30 AM and was pleased to see that my eyes were much less puffy and red than the night before. I went back to bed for couple hours and when I woke up my face was swollen again. I took an antihistamine and an anti-inflammatory and put an ice pack on my eyes and laid down for awhile. As I was pondering whether I should go to school or not my throat started to swell up suddenly. I had problems swallowing but not breathing. Concerned that it would progress to problems breathing, I ask my mom to take me to the hospital.

Last Monday I only had 2 nurses tending to me when I came in, this time I had 3. I'm not sure if that is a reflection on my situation or the availability of staff at the time. I saw the doctor right away and they got me started on a hydrocortisone IV drip and gave me 20 mg of Prednisone. Since I had allergy testing coming up next week, the doctor last Monday shied away from giving me anything that could interfere with the testing. Today the doctor had no choice since my throat was swollen but this just means my allergy testing will have to be postponed. I had to stay at the hospital for several more hours after the IV was complete so they could monitor me.

Things that I am thankful for:

• when my very nice nurse unhooked me from the IV, gave me a robe so I could go to the bathroom. Fact: IVs really make you want to pee.


• when I was finally allowed to put my pants back on even though I was still waiting for the doctor to discharge me.


• my breathing was never hindered during the course of my reaction


• my mommy drove me to the hospital then stayed with me all day


• My right hand and arm are sore from the IV but fortunately I learned how to write with my left hand many years ago.


• my mommy bought me a delicious sandwich from Italian Star Deli

Things that don't help red, puffy, itchy eyes

How about crying for hours? That certainly doesn't help. Big surprise, lack of sleep seems to be a determent as well.

I woke at 3:30 AM with my eyes were so itchy and sore that I couldn't sleep anymore. I tried working on homework but the itchiness just got worse then the lack of sleep and frustration caught up to me and I haven't been able to stop crying since. On the plus side (?!?!) the constant crying seems to help the part of the skin nearest from eyes from being itchy.

People keep on tell me that it "isn't that bad". I know that I look at it more critically than others but it is bad. It is itchy and painful and it looks it. Last night I went to the casino show lounge to watch the CFL Western Final. I caught a friend of a friend staring at me more than once -- I felt like such a freak.

It is most likely contact dermatitis but since the skin around the eyes is so sensitive it really could be anything that comes in contact with my hair, face or hands. My papa jokes that I might be allergic to him.

Red, Puffy, Itchy Eyes

I don't know what is causing it but for more than 2 weeks the skin around my eyes has been swollen, red and itchy. I thought it might be a reaction to my makeup so I stopped wearing any and it only got worse. It started under my right eye, spread to under my left eye and now has appeared on both my eye lids. The itchiness is driving me crazy and I look terrible. It is to the point where I am embarrassed to go outside. Why does this garbage happen to me? I'm so frustrated with something always being wrong with me. I would like one day where I'm not plagued from some ailment. Is that too much to ask?

I wasn't expecting this but I'm a little emotional

I have admit that I got a little teary eyed when I read this headline:

Pat Burns, Stanley Cup winner, dies at 58, Friday, November 19, 2010, 6:29 PM, By NHL .com

You may be thinking "Who is Pat Burns and why would this upset Janice?" To make a long story short, he was the first Montreal Canadiens head coach that I remember. I was 10 years old when he started coaching them and he took them to the Stanley Cup finals. This coincided with a time that I was becoming much more aware of who the players were and understanding the game. I cried when they lost the finals.* He was a good man that always will have a special place in my heart.



* Interestingly, ever Habs fan that I've met that is around the same age as me has also admitted to crying as well. It is a tough time when your heroes fail.

Oh Yes, I Still Got It!: Eleven Years Later

Please forgive, I started this post 2 weeks ago and finally got around to finishing it.


You'd think I'd know better by now to catch the bus downtown on the block with the bus station and the police station.

After working late at the university, I missed my bus transfer downtown. My bag was heavy, a bit chilly and would be more than a half hour until the next bus came so I decided to sit in the bus shelter. A couple minutes before my bus was supposed to arrive, two very rough looking drunk natives came and joined me in the shelter. One with a broken and bruised lip came and sat beside me[will refer to him as Drunk Dude]. I apologized that my bag was in the way and I moved it so moved it to my lap.

Drunk Dude' Friend: Haha, maybe that's your hope purse.
Drunk dude: [Rolls eyes]
Drunk dude: What's your name?
Me: Janice
Drunk dude: My name is Darling, nice to meet you. [Shakes hand]
Drunk Drunk Dude' Friend: How old are you?
Me: 32
Drunk Drunk Dude' Friend: Aww, you're just a youngin'. I'm 40 and never thought I'd live this long [then nonsensical rambling about rough life]
Drunk dude: [Puts hand on my arm] You are a very pretty lady
Me: Umm, thank you
Drunk dude: Can I have your number?
Me: No thank you
Drunk dude: Why?
Me: I don't know you and I don't give out my number to strangers.
Drunk dude: But how can I not be a stranger if you don't give me a chance to get to know you? Give me you number.
Me: No thank you, I'm too busy with school for dating.
Drunk Drunk Dude' Friend: Hey, want buy a 40[oz] of Crown Royal for $20? [Proceeds to pull a large bottle out of his pants]
Me: no thank you, I'm just a poor student.
Drunk dude: C'mon
Drunk Drunk Dude' Friend: Leave her allow, she's poor like us.

Drunk dude's friend pulls another bottle out of his pants, he opens it and drinks from it. The two start fighting over the fact that Drunk dude's friend started drinking from a bottle they were suppose to sell. They were ready to start fighting in the bus shelter and they were blocking the entrance. They finally settle that they can drink one and sell one.


Drunk dude: I should push you under a bus because you won't give me your number
Me: You don't want to do that
Drunk dude: I'm just jokin'
Me: What bus are you waiting for? [At this point I was ready to catch the next bus that came along just to get away from them as long it wasn't the one they were getting on]
Drunk dude's friend starts telling a long rambling story about where they are headed but never reveals which bus they are waiting for. Fortunately my bus arrives and I can get away.

May-B and I had been texting plans to get together. Immediately when I got on the bus, I texted her to tell what happened. She didn't know how I could turn down "Pants Crown Royal" for $20.*

Read about the time May-B and I were hit on by drunk construction workers at a pool hall 11 years ago.

*For serious, how could he keep 2 40oz bottles of Crown Royal in his pants? How could someone walk like that? How are his pants not falling down?