Not being heard

It is extremely frustrating to have something to say and
- you aren't given a chance to speak
- you speak and it was completely disregarded

In the first case, I feel like may I am trying to talk to people that are so concerned about getting their own point across that they don't even notice that others are trying to speak. I'm not the type of person to interrupt when someone else is talking. If I know someone else has something to say or notice that they were interrupted, I try to make sure they are given a chance to speak. One rare occasion I do get to speak, often try to interrupt and if I do not stop talking they just start talking "over top of me". It is totally bizarre.

In a linguistics class I took, we learned that the amount how much time a person talks in a group shows how much power they have in the group.* Are others around me not willing to give me the power to speak? Are they not willing to give up their own power? Are they not willing to recognize me as having something meaningful to say? This might sound strange to people who have known me for my whole life that I am going through this.** Once after admitting I maybe overly assertive, my grade 10 English teacher told me that was grossly understated. How can the overly assertive compete with the hyper-aggressive?

In the second case, it is a really a problem with one person who often asks for help and has difficulty hearing "no". You know when telemarketers call you house and keep on talking even after you say you aren't interested? Imagine if those telemarketers came into your home everyday, followed you around bugging you. This is a little bit how I feel on a daily basis.

Not meaning to be ranty but these things have been bugging me for a long while. Today I a had a little bit of validation from a causal observer that had noticed the on-going pattern. At least I don't think the problem is all in my head...


*It doesn't necessarily mean that if you talk the most you have the most power in the group, silence can show authority.
** Certainly not sound like the girl who made a peeping tom cry.