6 days and still going strong...

I am still sick. At least I have a voice when I wake up in the morning. The first couple days of my cold I had barely a whisper of a voice. Today I have a nasty sinus headache and can't stop coughing. I hate colds. I was so proud of myself because it has been more than a year and a half since I had my last cold. This is a major accomplishment for someone who normally gets a couple a year. I'm pretty sure I now have a chemical dependency on Neo-Citrin.

I was actually surprised by a few Christmas presents this year. Normally I only get things that are on my list. This year I got a ukulele and carrying case, SNL Trivial Pursuit and a manicure/pedicure kit in addition to some of the things on my list.

Tomorrow I leave my parents' house. I originally planned to leave on Monday but a combination of not feeling well, the roads being bad and wanting to see more my family made me decide to stay longer. I will just be stopping at home in Saskatoon briefly on my way to a Church retreat. I'm sort of looking forward to the retreat and sort of not. It is a complicated situation.

Last night Ang and I watched Elf. I had never seen it before. Good movie. We were drinking milkshakes and it made my throat sore. I thought nothing of it. I have a milk allergy and some times I get cold-like symptoms if I have too much milk. I woke up this morning not feeling much better. Today was the day I was coming home for the holidays. As the trip progressed I started to feel worse and worse. I have no voice at all right now. My throat hurts too much to swallow anything but hot liquids. Poor, poor Janny.

Just breathe

I got my karaoke plug-in from Dbpoweramp. You have to download the beta version of their audio player for the karaoke plug-in to work. It removes the middle track of a stereo song so it doesn't always work perfectly.There a lot of different plug-in you can download from their site.

I taught again on Friday. Hopefully the work will be even more regular after the Christmas break. the day went really well. I only taught 3 out of 5 periods but got paid for the whole day. The teacher I was subbing for is the network administrator so he has a lot of prep periods. I spent half the day eating cheese ball and spinach dip in the staff room. It was spending so much time in the staff room when I didn't know anyone. I made an attempt and visited a little.

I spent the last couple days at my grandparent's farm. There were a couple Christmas family get togethers. I ate so much this past weekend. I came home yesterday. The roads were terrible. Lately we have been having weird weather where one day it is warm and melting and the next day it is a blizzard. It makes for very icy conditions. The trip should have taken me 2.5 hours but it took me 3.5 hours. The closer I got home, the better the roads were.

Tomorrow I go to North Battleford and pick up my grandma and I will take her home for Christmas. I still have so much to do.

Yikes!

I got a plug-in that puts songs into karaoke mode (takes out the vocal track). Now I cannot get into normal mode. Oh boy.

Sometimes you just have to be silly.

Friday, I helped some friends move to their new home. My one friend is pregnant so I spent most of the day making sure she didn't wear herself out. I am so sore and tired. After lifting heavy boxes up and down stairs all day, I tutored for 2 hours. So at the end of the day I was physically and mentally exhausted. It was time to be silly.

That night, My cousin/roommate and I went to a midnight movie. On our way there we took some silly pictures downtown (more specifically of a store called mansized).

The next day the silliest continued. Before we went to our youth group meeting, my roommate Stephanie was wrapping some black curtains. My roommate/cousin Ang decided to use the curtains as a cape and was running around the house. She threw the curtains over her head, turned the corner and ran into the bathroom. We heard a loud thud. She had run into the wall and hurt her self. We were killing ourselves laughing. I am not sure why she did that.

Our youth group went caroling and delivered meals to the seniors in our church. As we were driving to and fro, we were taking silly pictures again. We posed at the corner of Rushholme St and Ave P (think about it). As I dropped off the last person, we took a picture of us making snow angels in front of his building. (Later that night we discovered that Ang lost her cell phone while making snow angels).

I have some good news. Monday morning I got a call from one of the schools in the city asking if I was available for Tuesday afternoon. This left me confused since I had not received the call telling me I was on the sub list. I was subbing for a teacher who teaches math and technology classes. He was acting vice principal so he needed a sub. The afternoon went really well. He was so pleased with how things went that he asked if I could sub for him on Friday (all day)! He told me he wants me to sub for him all the time now. That is a definite step in a positive direction.

Tonight we had 5 people over for supper since this is Steph's last night at home for awhile. Good times were had. She leaves tomorrow to go home to her family for Christmas vacation. I have to leave the house at 5:30am to take her to the airport. Yuck. At least I can sleep afterwords.

Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dream

I tutored for 3.5 hours again tonight. At least that this the last night for a long time that will happen. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for the work but as I have said before it is a brain drain. It is different than teaching math. With teaching you know what you are going to say going into the class. You know the topic well enough to explain it in many different ways. I have no problems with my high school tutees. This is the stuff I spent the last four years teaching. The university classes are hard because I have not thought about these classes in about 7 years. This was stuff I had to learn myself not to the level that I could explain it to someone else.

A couple nice things happened this evening. First I realized that I was having a real effect on the work I am doing with my newest tutee. I see great strides in her understanding.

Tonight I saw one of my university students for the last time for her final. She paid me and gave me a little extra to show how much she has appreciated my help. She told me she is taking calculus next semester and wants me as her tutor again. That is so exciting, I love Calculus! (I know I am math geek and proud of it). I glad I get to continue working with her. She is studying to be a teacher and we have a lot in common.

Another nice things about our last session, we got free food. The on campus bar was handing out homemade cookies to people in the library. I know it was intended for students but I will lie by omission for homemade chocolate chip cookies. It is not my fault they assumed I was a student.

I talked to a friend on the phone tonight for a long time. It is one of my married friends that lives far, far away. There was a time and place where she was one of my closest friends. It was good to catch up with her. Her husband was out for supper with some work colleagues so she was glad I called (the house was little too empty). I am also glad I will get to see her over Christmas break.

I should get to bed. I am helping some friends move into a new house. I'll actually have to set my alarm tomorrow. It will be good to out of the house for the day.

let the good times roll

I chatted with a friend last night. She was going through the same thing as I was. The problem was we had both been watching Oprah in the afternoon and it put us both in the same mood. My problems are not solved but at least I feel a little better about them.

I decoupaged for the first time last night. It turned out pretty well. I had to cut the seams so the box could be opened this morning. I think I need to do some touch ups with the glue.

uneventful day, eventful night?

I've had sort of a sad day. I sort of started on Monday and has continued to today. I'm tired of having to worry about not working and having no money. I have been beyond patient what for my fortunes to change.

I have also been a little frustrated with some of the friendships in my life. This actually goes back a couple years. One of my best friends suddenly would take a long time to return my calls. Then she wouldn't return them at all. I found out from running into her mom one time that she had moved. I have had other friends where I feel like I am making all the effort to stay in touch. I feel like I do not have any close friends any more. I want to feel like I am important to someone. Even during the busy times, they are thinking about how I am doing. I am going through such a hard time personally right now, I feel like I really need those friends. There are things in my life I feel like I have no one to talk to.

A while ago I had complained about this very thing to a friend. Shortly after I started receiving emails from people I had not heard from in a long time. I literally received 6 in one day. This was very suspicious. My friend admitted that she had sent a mass email telling people I was going through a rough time and encouraged them to write me. That was very sweet of her. I was diligent to write everyone back. Slowly over time, these same people stopped making the effort to email me back. This made me feel worse than before like they only sent the emails out of sympathy. Kind of like people who volunteer at soup kitchens only during the holidays. "I've done my good deed now I can go back to spending time on what is truly matters to me."

It makes me sick sometimes to think of how many people I was there for when they needed me. Now when I need them, they are no where to be found.

Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered

I am brain drained. I tutored last night for 3.5 hours and tonight for 2.5 hours. Today I had a sinus headache so I took a dayquil. I have felt groggy all day. I was having a hard time concentrating tonight Even though I took it this morning.

Sunday night I had my choir concert. I was bad and went to Old Navy in the afternoon. As a result, I was late picking up a friend for the concert. Then I parked my car near the wrong church and we had to walk 3 blocks in the freezing cold. My friend was wearing heels and cursed me all the way there. We barely made it on time for the dress rehearsal.

Before we began singing at the concert I found where my family and friends were sitting. My aunt waved to me like the Queen. I started laughing and almost fell off the riser. This got me laughing even more. I also noticed a friend I had not seen for a long time. I never got a chance to talk to her.

The concert went well for the most part. Twice the tenors came in too late and once a couple altos came in too early. It was nothing the audience would notice. After the concert, my family, friends and I went to Earl's for dessert and coffee. We had a good time.

Yesterday morning my parents came over to my place before they went home. They had stayed at my aunt's house after the concert. They helped put together my new bookshelf (an early Christmas present) and hang pictures. I have lived in this place for more than 4 months and I just hung pictures on my bedroom.

Tomorrow night I am having a crafting party. A group of us need to make homemade presents for a gift exchange on Saturday. It is more fun to make crafts in a group. Promises to be a silly time.

grrr

I was supposed to see my friend Twila tonight but is sick. I hope we can reschedule soon. I spent the evening playing board games with some friends. It was a little disappointing that some people who said they'd come, didn't. Despite that I had a pleasant evening.

I'm a little annoyed right now. I just got home due to a marathon game of Trivia Pursuit 90s edition. I walk in the door, tired and ready for bed. My roommate (the one who is ill) is on the phone in the living room. She is giving directions to a friend who had just called looking for a place to stay. A couple things make me mad:
1) She knew she was going to be in the city yesterday and did not bother to call ahead of time to ask if she could stay here.
2) She has been in town since suppertime and did not bother to tell us she need a place to stay until now.
3) She called after 2am to ask if she could stay here.
4) I have to stay up and wait for her to find our house. I don't want my sick roommate to worry about it. She has to work tomorrow and she is getting over strep throat and the flu.
How inconsiderate! Of course, my roommate won't tell her friend that. I just may have to.

Nothing too exciting happened today. I am mostly procrastinating from going to bed.

I had an awesome hair day but no one to share it with. I hate when that happens. I spent most of the day cleaning so I felt the need to do my hair after I showered. Sometimes a girl just has to dress up.

I wrote a quiz about myself last night and it started an epidemic today. I received 5 quizzes written by friends today. It is good to see everyone uniting in procrastination. Laziness is the true tie that binds.

whiter shade of pale

Thankfully, I did not get sick last night. I am determined not to get sick so my task for the day is to clean any common surfaces (or would that be communal surfaces).

I created a quiz about myself for my friends last night. It is difficult one. One friend got 100% only because he cheated. I called him on it. He admitted to me he only knew about half of the answers.

I'm not feeling so great. I have been tired all day. I tutored this afternoon and when I was coming home I started to feel all achy. My roommate has the flu but I don't know if I am getting it or it is all in my mind. I still feel tired now but I don't feel achy anymore.

I have been think a lot about the song "Lovers in a Dangerous Time" by Bruce Cockburn. There is this one line I think about "kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight." For the metaphorically challenged a translation: if you think something is worth it you have to keep at it.

This brings me to another point. I think you really have to choose you battles. I know that is cliched but is the truth. Some times keeping at it is not worth it. I know sometimes conflict can bring about change but sometimes the change is not worth the price of the conflict. For example, My co-operating teacher for my internship told me once "If you find yourself constantly enforcing a rule sometimes you have to decide if maybe it is an unreasonable rule." The ironic thing was she had this rule in her classroom that no students were allowed to put their feet on the baskets under the chair in front them. It got to the point where I was wasting so much time getting after students about this rule I had to re-evaluate. I realized that it wasn't that big of deal (as long it didn't bother the person in front of them) and was not worth my energy constantly enforcing it. I have tried to apply this to everyday life. If I am constantly upset or complaining about something, I think "Is this really worth getting upset over?" Sometimes you have to accept that what will be will be.