Pride Comes Before the Fall

"You want to know my philosophy? One day a peacock. The next day a feather duster."
PAT QUINN, the governor of Illinois, on his turn in the spotlight.

I'm that good...

Yesterday I busted my brother for cheating on a high school calculus test 8 years ago:



I admit that catching it after he finished university defeats the purpose but in my defense I didn't even live in the same city as him at the time.

Excellent Reason not to See the Underworld Prequel*

From Movies Without Pity's 9 Reasons You Shouldn't See Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

6) Bill Nighy can't fly in real life, and this is just a sad, 90-minute reminder of that painful fact.








*Besides the fact it looks like a terrible movie.

Out of Wack*

I went to a chiropractor today since my shoulder and lower back are not getting better on their own. He agrees that I had a very bad week, now I have scientific evidence to collaborate. I strained my rotor cuff, jammed my left hip bone (which caused it to lock) and two of my lower vertebrae are askew. Good news is I probably only have to go to the chiropractor for about a month.








*of the wiggity variety.

Carol, you're pants are ready

Marilyn called to let you know. Since I do not know either of you, I hope you get this message.

The Lab That Would Not Die

I had quite the week. Not only did I fall multiple times but I also completely forgot to go to a class and went completely brain dead during a physics lab. Not being able to convert centimetres to metres was the first sign that maybe I was lacking the thinking capacity to be performing experiments. We had a horrible time trying to set up various apparatus and barely collected the data before the end of the three hours (or so we thought). The next day my partner texted me to point out that a set of our data was bad -- we had to redo the entire second part of the experiment. Later as I was doing calculations, I realized that the first set of data was bunk as well so I had to redo that as well. Tonight my partner texted me again to mention we failed to make some measurements for our equipment. Oy, so now I have to go back again to my lab instructor tomorrow and tell him that we are still not quite done yet. How embarrassing.

Last semester, I had the best lab mark in the class but I'm certainly not acting like it this semester.

That Doesn't Even Make Sense

I came across an article about not appearing nervous when speaking in public. In reference to avoiding too many hand gestures:
"Don't pretend that you are Adam and give yourself a fig leaf."

Barack Obama's inauguration in Legoland, California

In one of the more detailed pictures they even have dudes waiting in line at the port-a-potty.

The Loneliest Man in Sports

You want the most stressful job in sports? Live behind the mask of Montreal Canadiens goalie Carey Price
Source: ESPN the Magazine Online, Lindsay Berra

My life as a character in a silent film

While still smarting from my fall on Monday, I fell down the stairs at the university on Wednesday. I tripped over my untied boot lace and fell head first down the stairs. Thankfully I was able to grab onto the rail with both arms so I only fell down about three stairs and landed on my knees. My arm and back are worse and my knees are badly bruised but at least I didn't hit my head or break any bones. I expect next week I'll fall from a a 20-foot barn ladder, slip into a giant vat of fresh cream and while vacationing in Egypt, manage to stir a 5,000-year-old mummy from its restful slumber.

Quotables

Here are the rules of the game (for me):
Pick 10 of your favorite movies
Write a quote from each movie
Make your friends guess the quote
Fill in the film title once it’s been guessed

These rules are for you people:
Don't cheat.
Leave your answer(s) in the comments.

1. Without you, today's emotions would be the scurf of yesterday's. Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain or also more commonly known as Amélie
   
2. Hey! What're you kicking me for? You want me to ask? All right, I'll ask! Ma'am, where do the high school girls hang out in this town? Swingers
   
3. Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear. Empire Records
   
4. Sir. Whilst I don't wish to be rude, I do believe that you watched too many Tarzan films as an impressionable child. Mean Machine
   
5. The ball is round, the game lasts 90 minutes, everything else is pure theory. Lola rennt or more commonly known as Run Lola Run
   
6. That's Tommy. He tells people he was named after a gun, but I know he was really named after a famous 19th century ballet dancer. Snatch
   
7. You're the only woman for me. You and Janet Jackson. Enemy of the State
   
8. If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth, or I think you're bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything, I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive Nick. Now, do you understand everything I've just said? Cause' if you don't, I'll kill ya! Now, Mr Bubble and Squeak, you may enlighten me. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
   
9. Man, I wanna see a picture of this Nubian princess. If you were any less black, you would be clear. Go
   
10. My line? My most effective one is to tell a girl she has hair like a tortured midnight, lips like a red couch in an ivory palace that I'm lonely and starved for affection. Then, I generally burst into tears -- It seldom works. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
    

Bonus Questions:
Which two of quotes were said by the same actor? Vas Blackwood
Which three movies have the same producer? Matthew Vaughn

Walker, Texas Ranger Commerical Transcript

Announcer: "Walker, Texas Ranger, serving up justice on DVD..."
Chuck Norris: "He deserves a beating"
Random Dude: "He sure does"
[Round house kick]
[Explosion]
Announcer: "...one fist at a time."
[Jumping from moving helicopter and tackling dude]
Chuck Norris: "You're under arrest."
[Explosion]
Announcer: "With all 23 action pact episodes."
Black Texas Ranger: "Maybe we should call for back up."
[Round house kick]
[Double ear slap]
[Quickdraw]
[Kick a dude through a window]
Chuck Norris: "Why?"

Ever wanted to be annoying to anybody? Here's how.

Last night I came across a "How to" wiki site. Curious what the site had to offer, I came across these gems in the Language Nuances category. This is some of the more confusing and ridiculous advice -- I wish I was making these up.

How to Be Annoying to People Who Use Expressions

Whenever somebody uses an expression or exaggeration, challenge it by being literal. Example: If somebody says: "Think outside the box," you should say: "What box?" or "How big is the box? Because if everybody thought inside it, it would have to be pretty big." or "What is it that is inside this 'box' that is so important for people to think about?" or something of that nature.

How to Think of Quick Witted Comebacks

One tactic to use is to mutter "[insult]saywhat" really quickly, and they will say, "What?"
Do not, under any circumstances, use childish insults such as "I know you are, but what am I". It does not work - at all.
Never ever, ever, ever say just "your mom" unless you are countering a mom insult with your own. And if they are actually using a mom insult, it probably isn't a serious situation.
'Leave me alone' does not work.

How to Be Cool

Being cool can be a challenge. A lot of people who aren't cool can slow your path to coolness down. So if something puts you in a bad mood, it's good to have reminders of your end goal of being awesomely cool. Also if your mood distracts you enough for you to forget your end goal reminders can help you stay positive.

How to Be Sarcastic

Example:
“You stole my homework to copy it!”
“No, I didn’t!”
“Hmmm...the dog must have eaten it, then!”

A Little Banged and Bruised

I fell hard on my left hip crossing the street -- the road had a layer of soft snow over ice. I had just got off the bus and was only about a half block from home so I didn't have far to walk. My hip is a little swollen but doesn't hurt even if I touch it. I tried to break my fall with arm and I think I sprained it. My back and neck are stiff and incredibly sore. I'm incredibly grumpy now and just can't shake it.

Hit and Miss

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, iPod on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds!
There were way too many so I used the same ones LynnieC did.

How would you describe yourself?
"French Taunter Part 1", Monty Python and the Holy Grail
“I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”
Strangely perfect description

How do you feel today?
"Marching the Hate Machines into the Sun", Thievery Corporation featuring the Flaming Lips
I know the song and even I'm confused

What is your motto?
"Star", David Bowie

I could do with the money
I'm so wiped out with things as they are
I'd send my photograph to my honey - and I'd c'mon like a regular superstar

What do your friends think of you?
"What I Got", Sublime
"Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that"
Apparently my friends don't know me very well.

What do you think about very often?
"Concerning the UFO Sighting Near Highland, Illinois", Sufjan Stevens
Wow, I'm nerdier than I even knew.

What do your parents think about you?
"Gonna Buy Me a Dog", The Monkees
Weep

What do you think of your best friend?
"Leaving to Stay", Jonny Lang

What is your life story?
"Sunny Days (Sesame Street Theme)"

What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Black Math", The White Stripes
Creepy

What do you think when you see the person you like?
"Blackbird", The Beatles

What song will they play at your wedding?
"I Wear My Sunglasses at Night", Corey Hart
I'm pretty sure that will be played at LynnieC's wedding over and over and over again as she air guitars down the aisle

What will they play at your funeral?
"Chramer, Gip Die Varwe Mir - Krämer, Gib Mir Die Frabe", Carmina Burana
A little too triumphant

What is your hobby/interest?
"Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe", Barry White

What do you think about love?
"Seed 2.0", The Roots

Knocked up nine months ago
And what she's fittin' to have she don't know
She wants neo-soul cause hip hop is old
She don't want no rock'n roll
She want platinum, ice and gold
She want a whole lot of somethin' to fold
If you're an obstacle she'll just drop you cold
Cause one monkey don't stop the show

What is your biggest flaw?
"Dream a Little Dream", Mamas and the Papas
I wish it wasn't true.

What is your best trait?
"Brand New Key", Melanie Fathkay
That's kinda gross

Quote for this Generation Too

The era of procrastination, of half-measures, of soothing and baffling expedients, of delays, is coming to its close. In its place we are entering a period of consequences.

* Winston Churchill, Speech at the House of Commons, 12 November 1936