Where's Shaun when you need him?

Mom, you may not want to read this one. Trust me, you'll only raise your eyebrows and worry about your oldest daughter.

Last week, I had a dream that my sister and I had to share a room with the body of my recently deceased grandma the night before the funeral. My sister and I were on bunk beds (Me on the top and Mary on the bottom, just like old times) and grandma was laying on a single bed across the room. In the middle of the night grandma got out of bed. Mary was so freaked out she jumped onto the top bunk. We stayed as still as possible so "zombie grandma" would not see us. (I woke up after she left the room. I cannot verify if she was actually a zombie).

Like I was not freaked out enough that I had to attend my grandma's viewing.

Be Careful What You Ask for...

Or you might have a homeless and drunk and/or mentally ill man fall in love with you.

A couple months ago a friend that own a custom dress shop asked me to do some modeling for an event. At the time I was sure if I should take "You're tall and relatively good looking" as an insult. After my first fitting I found out there would be two other girls as well. After my last fitting I was told that I would not have to be at the event all day but only for the afternoon. My ego was little bruised after I was first publicly declared the "backup" then told she was going to only use the other two girls. I still went to the event anyway because I wanted to support my friend.

On my way home, my friends and I were waiting for a train when a homeless guy walked up to me. He was staring at me and I was convinced that he was going to ask for money. He would not take his eyes off of me then he started repeating over and over "I like the one with the glasses." We bolted.

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"Cooking up my B.A."

The Post that Never Happened

After hearing that my flight had been by over 2 hours, my sister called to remind me about an unsecure wireless network in the Regina airport. I was going to write a post triumphantly boosting of my free Internet when I lost the signal. Oh well, I had it for awhile.

As I sit and type I am three seats away from a man listening to the worst music I'm sure I have ever heard. How dreadful. Does he not know if other people can hear the words of your music that either your headphones are crappy and/or you are listening to them too loudly?

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Watch out Bron

A couple days ago, one of my favourite words uxorious was Dictionary.com's word of the day. One of my goals in life is to be able to use it in Scrabble. I shall ride my pony when I do.

I'm ashamed it is true....

The Sonnet Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDf) Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed? Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance. Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so. You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls. ALWAYS AVOID: The 5-Night Stand, The False Messiah, The Hornivore, The Last Man on Earth CONSIDER: The Loverboy Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.

Queasy Canadiens can’t wait to put pesky flu bug behind them

My beloved Habs are on a 3 game losing streak due to the flu. Poor guys. Against the Capitals they had guys puking between periods.
Is there a doctor in the house?

The Fall of Hippolyta

I arrived home Saturday evening. I was getting a glass of water before bed and I noticed dirt on the kitchen floor. Hippolyta, my cactus, was on the floor, her terra cotta pot shattered in pieces. I didn't dare move her until I had another pot to put her into.
The next day I went out and got her a pot she could grow into. As I was cleaning up the kitchen, I could tell a mouse knocked over the cactus. I had unplugged my mouse repeller before I went away and forgot to plug it in again. Now I can barely move the new pot so I doubt a mouse could. I had planned to repot her in the spring since she had grown almost too big for her pot (about 2 feet tall above the pot). Normally a mouse would not be able to knock over a plant that big if it wasn't already so top heavy.
Interesting note: the terra cotta pot left "shrapnel" in the floor boards. The ledge the pot was sitting on was over 5 feet high and obviously hit the ground pretty hard.

Strange Bowling Coincidences

This afternoon I made plans to see a friend from high school. It is very difficult to make plans with him for several reasons:
- He is an insomniac and has to keep to a very strict evening routine so he does not "socialize" in the evening.
- He lives very, very far away so I rarely see him.
- He is about 3 millimetres away from becoming a hermit.
- He is a germaphobe.
- He takes over twenty minutes to brush his teeth (see previous point).
Originally I had planned we should go for a walk. He likes going for walks especially since there are very few people and he can keep his gloves on (for fear of germs). Today was much colder than it has been the last couple days so that was out.
My next suggestion was bowling. Yikes! From the dirty look I got you would think I had suggested an assassination. He was leery about the rented shoes touching bowling balls that other people had used. Fortunately I have the ability to convince him to do things he normally would not do. First, I convinced him just to drive to the bowling alley. I wasn't even sure if the place even would be open in the middle of the afternoon on a week day. When we saw people leaving the building we knew it was open and he seemed incredibly disappointed. I promised him that he can wash his hands and his socks. He told me he might have to throw out his socks (I thought he was joking but he was not).
After about his fourth strike in a row, he admitted to me he used to be in a bowling league. Upon further investigation I found out he had been in a youth bowling league for several years during the same time that I bowled. We even bowled at the same time but did not met until 10 years later. (Our high school was very big and we did not met until the last day of grade 11).
We had lots of fun and once we started bowling he didn't even freak out about anything.

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Norwegian Delight

My mama and I made krum kaga yesterday (also sometimes know as krumkake). I got her an iron for Christmas. It took FOREVER! No wonder my grandma only makes it once a year. Here are our amatuer results:

Not too shabby.

Writer's convention

Sorry that during the last couple weeks I have not been posting much. I had a presentation at a writer's convention and I was swamped with work. Finally after the holidays, they posted pictures from the conference. Check out what they said about me:

I have no idea how I was able to pay attention.

Move Over George Clooney

Salon made their own list of sexiest men alive and "nary a pretty-boy actor among them".
Agreed and agreed.

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Little Joey

From Eonline

A couple thoughts:
1) Brooke Shields' son is awesome
2) Why is Brooke Shields wearing a denim skirt as a jacket?
3) Why is Brooke Shields' son under her denim skirt?

Ky Could Be Hazardous to Your Health

Did you know that Ky is the leading cause of house fires?

Because she's smokin'.

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Little Mosque on the Prairies

I've never heard of a Canadian show getting so much buzz from out of the country before.
CNN to visit 'Little Mosque' set
I've seen the commercials and I definitely want to see it.

Belted sweaters and misogyny

From the Manolo:
Don’t Like Women? You’ll Love Our Sweaters