Bargain Birthday

Every birthday and Christmas I buy myself a present. In the last little while it has been a pretty cheap present but I always get myself something. This year I decided I want to get myself a Montreal Canadiens shirt. I've had a bunny hug forever. I had some t-shirts a long time ago but they have long since worn out.
I checked online which shirt I wanted to get but they charge a ton for shipping and the shirt was already $35. Today I checked a local sports store (according to their website they don't even have it). Not only did they have it in my size but it was on sale for $10! It completely made my day.

One year older...

... and all I have to show for it is a car that smells like newly printed brochures that sat in the sun all day. You wouldn't think it but that smell really lingers.

"Michael, a magician never reveals - I sunk it! At least I think I sunk it. I mean, I blew it up and I don't see it anywhere. "

Copperfield Works Magic on Bad Guys
So apparently, David Copperfield faked out some robbers with an illusion making them think he had no money. He then made Statue of Liberty disappear. It was all in a days work.

Young People's Hints For Life

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone but-it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you wan to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; an untimely word may level stress; a loving word may heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear. When you were born, you were crying, and, everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Conan O' Brien: Walker Texas Ranger Clips

Conan O' Brien: Walker Texas Ranger Clips

Fun with Sitemeter

One person found my blog by searching "neil patrick harris shirtless" and another with "random facts of vietnam". Good luck finding those shirtless pictures, as Craiggers once rightly described him as having a Bowflex body.

I never want to work on that stupid brochure again

It took me 7 hours to redo the brochure. The files were now too big to email. I had to burn them to CD and drive them to the print shop during rush hour traffic.

After I dropped the CD off I was in a significantly better mood. I was rocking out in my car to Bohemian Like You by the Dandy Warhols (yes, I was listening to the awesome mix CD "If I can't dance, I don't want your revolution".) I drove back to work and watched my Habs win again.

I'm really starting to hate this brochure

I feel like I have had the wind knocked out of me and I am ready to cry. When I got to work there was a message from the printer that the brochure had further changes that needed to be made. The main problem is that not that I don't know how to make the changes but the program I have been using can't make the changes. I do have a program on my own personal computer that can make the necessary changes but that requires me to start a new brochure from scratch. I'd love the luxury of time to break down and cry.

Welcome to Janntopia

I decided that my bedroom is officially part of Saskatchewan. It is nice to be home.

Small Town Wedding

I went to my cousin's wedding in small town this weekend. For me, this wedding will be known as the time my plate slipped, flipped over and dumped the entire contents into the serving tray of mashed potatoes.

After the wedding, a bunch of people went over to a relatives house and played games (including several rounds of Mafia). We had a pretty good time.

Last night I had the craziest dream. Since we had playing games for the whole evening, I dreamed some one taught us this game where every starts with play money and we need it to complete certain tasks for the game. One of the tasks was time travel. There were two ways we could time travel: sit around the kitchen table or wear fanny packs. I told people about it at breakfast this morning. The guys had not arrived yet and the moment they walked in my cousin yelled, "Janice had a dream about fanny packs last night." She didn't even give them a chance to say hello.

Cowboy, Ninja, Bear: a variation on Rock, Paper, Scissors

It's the game that is sweeping the nation. I thought my brother invented but apparently not.
The Cowboy shoots the bear, the Ninja sneaks up on the Cowboy, but the Bear is too big for the Ninja so Bear beats Ninja.


An interesting point was brought up at the wedding reception yesterday, Chuck Norris has played a ninja and a cowboy. Of course the bear would not have a chance against Chuck Norrii* so really the game would be Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris. The world might end as we know it if Chuck Norris fought Chuck Norris so that game would be pointless.


*Obvious pluralization

All Janny, All The Time.

Inspired by Bron's slogans. I decided to try my own.

"Give That Man A Janny." (I've been saying that for years.)

"Yo Quiero Janny."

"All You Need is a Janny and a Dream."

Oppsy

I put my water bottle in the dish washer as I have many times before. The lid fell to the bottom and melted all over the heating element. Now everytime we run the dish washer the whole smells of melting candle wax.

Home Run Record Broken

Julio Franco broke the record for oldest player to hit a home run in a MLB game. The record has stood unbroken for 76 years. Neat story but the author is a bit of a jerk for making fun of Franco's age. Let's see Ben Spiegel hit the ball out of the park at age 47.
Becoming Oldest to Homer, Franco Rallies the Mets from the NY Times Sports section.

Fun with Desktop Publishing

I created a brochure for an upcoming conference. I finally submitted it to the printers yesterday. This morning the lady got back to me and I had to make the following changes:
* put my 8.5x14 brochure on 11x17 paper so they can cut it down to size
*make the border 1/4" all around so the colour goes all the way to the edge.
* add crop marks
* change the colours from RBG to Pantone
* change the document to spot colour

What as ordeal! I thought I was going take me a half hour and it ended up taking me nearly 6 hours. I won't bore you with the full details but first MS Publisher and Photoshop were not playing nice. I finally had to edit my image in Publisher so it would should the correct colour. After I changed the colours suddenly the crop marks would not show up so I had calculate where they should go and physically draw them in. There was also some wacky things going on with the postscript printer. Manually putting in the crop marks made it so I could avoid it entirely. At least with all my struggles it will save a lot time with the poster that will be submitted hopefully tomorrow.

You've got to be kidding me

Fake Breast Doc Busted from The Smoking Gun
Apparently a man in his 70s went door to door with a black bag offering free breast exams. Two women fell for it. Huh? I feel slightly conflicted. I know I should feel sorry for these women. I'm sure they feel horrible but seriously, who falls for that?

Playoff Blues (and Reds)

The Montreal Canadiens are playing the Carolina Hurricanes in the quarterfinals. They have lost every time they played Carolina this season. That's no good. I'm trying to be thankful they made it into the playoffs.

My 2006 NHL Stanley Cup dark horse prediction: Edmonton Oilers. You heard it here first. I bet they will be the Canadian team that will do the best. I won't bore you with the reasoning. (I realize that most people who read this blog are not sports fans).

Reservoir Dogs - A Movie Parody in Bun-o-vision

Reservoir Dogs in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies (Unbleeped version, viewer discretion advised).

Reservoir Dogs in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies.(Bleeped version. With homemade bleeps! Nonetheless, viewer discretion advised.)

Giggle of the day

19 April 2006 18:53 MDT | Posted by janny


Talk about the Luxury! courtesy of the Manolo.

The blogger returnth....

It has been a week since I last posted? I could not believe it. I lost count of the days I have been so busy with work.

Work is super busy but I find the work interesting. I have been creating a brochure, poster and website for an upcoming health conference. I like doing that kind of thing and I am good at it. Unfortunately, I have been the only one in the office for the last week or so little gotten done beyond the health project.

It is getting late, I'll have to post more tomorrow.

Procrastination Drives Me To Meme-ing

Continue what Maryanne and Bron started:

1) Who is the last person you high-fived? Mike L, he and his girlfriend were in town visiting his sister. They met us for lunch after church today.

2) If you were drafted into a war, would you survive? Probably not. I'd like to say that I'd rather die than kill another human being but I really don't know unless I was in the situation.

3) Do you sleep with the TV on? I used to when I lived by myself. On weekends I would watch TV until I was tired then slept on my futon.

4) Have you ever drunk milk straight out of the carton? Yes but only to finish it off. Or if it was those individual cartons.

5) Have you ever won a spelling bee? No, in grade 5 I spelled independent i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-a-n-t. I knew all the other words the other people had.

6) Have you ever been stung by a bee? Yes, I was in kindergarten and my cubic was having a picnic at Candy Cane Park in Regina. I was spinning around on the log roll and bee stung me on the palm of my hand. I didn't even know it was there until it stung me. Auntie Vicki knew what to do and made it better.

7) How fast can you type? Not as fast as I wish I could. I have surprisingly bad habits for a former keyboarding teacher. I only took a trimester of typing in school.

8) Are you afraid of the dark? No. I had a bedroom in the basement of my parents house on and off from about age 10. I would have moved down there sooner but we had boarders until I was about that age.

9) What color are your eyes? brown

10) Have you ever made out at a drive-in? I've never been to a drive-in.

11) When is the last time you chose a bath over a shower? I never choose a bath over a shower because I never bathe in the bathtub. I'll soak in the bathtub but shower after.

12) Do you knock on wood? nope

13) Do you floss daily? most days

14) Poor, poor missing question #14.

15) Can you hula hoop? yeah but not as good as I used to be able to. I'm out of practice.

16) Are you good at keeping secrets? For the most part. You would not believe some of the stuff people have confided in me but of course you'll never know because I'll never tell.

17) What do you want for Christmas? 3rd season of Corner Gas

18) Do you know the Muffin Man? I wouldn't bother. I heard it was a terrible movie.

19) Do you talk in your sleep? On occasion I have. One time I was visiting Ky

20) Who wrote the book of love? The Apostle Paul

21) Have you ever flown a kite? Forever ago.

22) Do you wish on your fallen lashes? Nope

23) Do you consider yourself successfully? nope, it is hard to be successful when you are lacking direction or goals.

24) How many people are on your contact list of your cell? about 25

25) Have you ever asked for a pony? That is silly. I lived in the city, where would we put it?

26) Plans for tomorrow? Work on a web page for work

27) Can you juggle? no

28) Missing someone now? Mostly my sister and brother. The other people I take comfort in knowing I will see them next weekend.

29) When was the last time you told someone I Love You? Yesterday to my mom and dad

30) And truly meant it? Of course. I know words have a power effect. I would never tell someone I loved them and didn't mean it.

31) How often do you drink? alcohol, never. water too many times to count in a day.

32) How are you feeling today? strange mix of buzzy, sleepy and annoyance.

33) What do you say too much? "like" but I'm sure there are other things too.

34) Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school? No. I started fight in grade 8 but I was a good student who had enough of a bully. I thought I was going to get suspended.

35) What are you looking forward to? Seeing friends and family next weekend.

36) Have you ever crawled through a window? I'm sure I have crawled out of a house window but don't remember when or why. Definitely through a car window. One night me and some friends decided we were going to be like "The Dukes of Hazzard". Sliding over the hood of the car didn't work out so great.

37) Have you ever eaten dog food? no

38) Can you handle the truth? I'd much rather live with the pain of the truth than be blissfully unaware.

39) Do you like green eggs and ham? I try to stay away from suspect food.

40) Any cool scars? On my left hand from making spears at church camp. A boy was telling a funny story and I wasn't paying attention to my knife. It hit a knot, slipped and cut my hand. I don't think I have even bleed so much in my life.

Edit this Post | Delete this Post

Everything is Coming Up Ky

7 April 2006 01:11 MDT | Posted by janny

The new upcoming fashion trend for men is full beards:
Paul Bunyan, Modern-Day Sex Symbol

This Mannitech situation has become a little more intriguing. This evening my employer was was telling me that a vocal supporter of Mannitech is a Dr. Nugent. I asked what the good doctor's first name was but he did not know. Perhaps his name is Ted? That would explain a lot.

Strange Conversations with Cousins

This story deserved to be on it's own.

My cousin Saryn and I work for the same person. Last night he was telling us about company called Mannitech. This is the conversation that transpired after he left:

Janice: I'm pretty sure Mannitech was an evil corporation on the show Dark Angel. They sound like the make manatees.
Saryn: Manatees can only make manatees.
Janice: But they make evil, robotic manatees.
Saryn: That would explain why manatees are nearly extinct.

This was the point were our other cousin's boyfriend walked into our conversation. He now feels sorry for her that she has to live with us.

I was telling Ky today and she told me:
"But the funny thing is, my reaction to that name was 'Wow. I bet they make robotic mannequins'".

Poll:
What would be scarier robotic manatees or robotic mannequins?

Howdy Stranger

I realize it has been awhile since I have updated anything that was going on in my life. I frankly didn't want to think about it long enough to write about it. All you have to know this past week was filled with many angry words and tears. I really hope something good will come out of all the turmoil but I have a hard time seeing it right now.

Tonight I was feeling at work a little like I was being ask to part the Red Sea -- no matter how much you try, without Divine intervention it ain't happening. To make a long boring story short on a meeting on Monday I was asked to get payment receiving options set up by the end of next month. I found out that we will probably will not be eligible and even if we are accepted it is very unlikely it will be done in time.

On the computer front at work, I still hate them. I'm ready to take them to a field with my co-workers and destroy them with a baseball bat. Then go back to my lame apartment with thin walls and dance awkwardly to profane rap music.

Normally I don't post jokes on my blog but this one is pretty good. Let me know what you think of it.
The Best Blonde Joke Ever

Spin Magazine Review of Chinese Democracy

I am not a fan of Guns N Roses but I am a fan of Chuck Klosterman. He wrote a review of GNR's Chinese Democracy for Spin. It is a good read.